


Carnage

by Str4y



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Character Death, Circus, Intestines, M/M, Mild Smut, Murder, Stabbing, Violence, Voyeurism, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 20:06:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20981609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Str4y/pseuds/Str4y
Summary: Changbin hates the circus. He hates the abuse and he hates the buzz for them.What Changbin really hates is that he got dragged to the circus on Halloween.But maybe it isn’t so bad when he and Felix stumble upon something very interesting happening after the show...Maybe Changbin could enjoy the circus, just this once....Or maybe not.





	Carnage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AkaiBaraPark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaiBaraPark/gifts).

> Ahhhh circus fic. So this was going to be a birthday Drabble for a friend but instead became a whole fic because the idea was so interesting I couldn’t fit it into less than 4-5k. 
> 
> Please let me know if I’m missing any tags, I think I tagged everything properly.
> 
> D I S C L A I M E R
> 
> —I don’t condone the actions displayed. Everyone but Felix made some pretty shitty decisions and Hyunjin, Minho, the Oc, and Chan aren’t cute for what they do here. They’re awful. 100% 
> 
> Please read the tags before continuing. There is very graphic death in the second half of the fic. You’ve been warned, whatever you read beyond this is on you. As it always is if you don’t fucking read the warnings .
> 
> *woojin has been replaced with OC woobin

“A pirate? How original.” Felix laughed, crossing his arms at his chest. 

  
  


“Sure, and your costume is better?”

  
  


“I’m a fairy?”

  
  


“You’re so lame.”

  
  


The music was rather dark for a circus. Very melancholy; somber. The waves of music were very peculiar. The sounds were almost too sad for Changbin to even continue. 

  
  


Felix was the opposite. Felix was all bright smiles beside him, arm looped around Changbins as they rest against their hips. He was excited. So pumped for the show. 

  
  


Changbin just wanted to go home. 

  
  


“How are you not excited? Look around!?” Felix squealed, pulling Changbin to a nice front row of seats. They weren’t even that early. There just...weren’t that many people. 

  
  


“I guess?” Changbin sighed, brushing his fingers through his hair, “this is just...not my thing.”

  
  


“It’s not a regular circus, Changbin.”

  
  


“Clearly.”

  
  


The lights dimmed. It was interesting how dark it got. How Felix’s hand was clenched against Changbins thigh, it was  _ so _ dark. 

  
  


And then the music started. This time low. Softer than before. There were faint whispers as finally light appeared, resting on the sole man at the center podium, he was bowing, tophat somehow still at his head, cane against the ground in one hand as his other was outstretched as if welcoming the crowd — well, he was welcoming the crowd. 

  
  


“Greetings,” the man began, raising slowly. 

  
  


Felix picked good seats. They could see the clear image of the man, brown hair tousled at his head,oh? He had a plague mask on. Like the ones those creepy doctors used to wear. It hid any features of his face and was definitely muffling his voice. He was dressed in all white with a splash of red, trench coat long and wrapping at his boots. His outfit was a huge contrast to the mask. But he held a handsome demeanor, Changbin thought. 

  
  


“Welcome,” He bowed again, this time to the opposing section. And so on and so on before turning back, just slightly angled from Changbins view, “it’s a pleasure to have you all here tonight on this fine Halloween.”

  
  


This is the last place Changbin wanted to spend his Halloween. 

  
  


“We have a very special show for you all tonight. It will be...very interesting.”

  
  


Felix was eating it up, laughing and biting at his bottom lip in anticipation. He loved it. 

  
  


And then the lights were off again. And the music got more...circus-like. Upbeat yet still had the underlying tone of morbidity. 

  
  


And then there was a blue shimmery-suited man in the center, face so fucking beautiful that Changbin had to do a double take. Okay. Their staff was hot. Two for circus. Zero for Bin. They were gorgeous. 

  
  


And then two more bodies creeped from behind, legs pulled over their heads, delicate faces of makeup sparkling against the lights that soon began to brighten. They were so small compared to—oh. The man was tall. Really tall. He was so tall that Changbin could feel the intimidation. He was at least seven feet — no way taller. Eight?! Changbins five foot six ass was shaking in his seat. 

  
  


“He’s so tall!” Felix gasped, looping his arm around Changbins again, mouth gaped in wonder. 

  
  


“I guess…” changbin turned back to the contortionists, watching as the tall man stood on his hands, legs draped around his shoulders, wrapping around himself. It was nice to watch, but nothing Changbin hadn’t seen before on the internet. The only difference was how hot the performers were. 

  
  


He was getting tired though. The performance was nice of course but...it was repetitive. There wasn’t much to it. 

  
  


“Changbin you missed the juggler. He had fire!” 

  
  


Changbin pulled himself upright, eyes fixating on the newest performer. He was normal sized, really pretty. Shit how was everyone so pretty? He had a long whip in his—oh?

  
  


“Dude he’s missing so many fingers!” Felix gasped quietly, watching in absolute wonder. 

  
  


“Yeah I can see that…”

  
  


“How’s he going to use the whip?”

  
  


Changbins discomfort rose as a live fucking black jaguar walked about the ring. There was no protection. There wasn’t a barrier made of more than a simple concrete wall. No fucking net. Not to mention the animal abuse. Jesus Christ he was uncomfortable. He didn’t think circuses even allowed this shit anymore. 

  
  


“He said his names minho. He said the jaguar is his best friend,” Felix whispered, arm tightening around Changbin. 

  
  


Changbin frowned, watching as the jaguar circled the man in the center. Please don’t use the whip…

  
  


Oh shit. 

  
  


The jaguar leaped, landing on top of the man who was now at the ground. But he was laughing. The crowd was shrieking. Felix shrieked. Changbins eyes widened in fear as the man wrapped his arms around the cat, the animal just laying on top, nuzzling his face like they were a kitten. The large animal was...now the man’s hand was at the animals mouth and it was...no wonder he didn’t have fingers. 

  
  


And then the cat pulled up, and Minho pulled himself off the ground, bowing to the cat. 

  
  


The cat bowed back. Did cats bow!?

  
  


The rest of the show comprised of two more cats joining. They did the basic circus shit where they jumped through hoops and ran at the crowd growling. Eventually Minho had connected long silver bands that were meant to be leashes on the three cats, all fucking bowing together without even being told. 

  
  


Changbin hoped they weren’t abusing them. 

  
  


“That was so scary…”

  
  


“It wasn’t that bad.”

  
  


Felix shot Changbin a look, “you’re telling me you didn’t jump six times during that show?”

  
  


Changbin huffed under his breath, directing attention back to the stage. 

  
  


After that performance...basic shit. Everyone was beautiful and peculiar. Like they were all clearly labelled under the “freak show” category for damn sure. 

  
  


“This was so cool...thanks for coming with me, Bin.”

  
  


Changbin sighed, watching as the lights dimmed again. They’d reached the ending. 

  
  


No noise. No introduction. Just a swing that swept from the darkest side of the stadium to the other. Changbin has barely even seen the performer. They were so fast that not even the light could follow. All changbin saw were ruffles and red. And clearly the performer was wearing bells. 

  
  


Bells? 

  
  


Another swing , the performer using his legs to hold him up, arms outstretched. He was wearing bells. In his outfit and in his ears. Changbin could finally get a good look at him. He kind of looked like some demented clown. Like they had some weird clowns earlier, but this one was darker. He looked so menacing and scary. But then he swung again, face tilted slightly to the crowd as he spun himself into the seat. He was, of course, beautiful. 

  
  


“Wow…” Felix smiled, face so bright and wide as the man swung back and forth, turning himself in the air so elegantly. He didn’t even look that small. He was built. For sure. It was interesting. 

  
  


Within minutes the swing came back. No performer. He’d disappeared into the shadows of one side of the stage, and if changbin didn’t know any better he’d thought the man had fallen. But changbin  _ did _ knew better. His eyes moved up to the rope that suspended from one side of the hall to the other. He would probably walk it, right?

  
  


Yes. He did. And he seemed so careless, throwing his legs across effortlessly. He even paused in the middle, sitting down and flipping himself upside down, hanging by just one leg, the other outstretched as a smile plastered over his face. 

  
  


And fuck. That smile. Changbin couldn’t take his eyes off of him. It was like the clown was just...watching him, just him. 

  
  


“Oh shit…” Felix laughed, patting Changbins arm as the clown pulled himself up, eyes still glued as he crawled across the rope. How he was doing that was behind Changbin, “he’s looking over here…” 

  
  


“I know.” Changbins eye never left the clown, a smile crossing his own face as the man licked his lips, slipping from the rope at the very end only to grab it in both hands. He was so high. Dangling without a care. 

  
  


Eventually he used his hands to take him across before throwing his legs up over the rope, doing a few backflips along till he reached the middle again, a single bow as he lifted his head, eyes settled so fucking ominously on Changbins. At least, he swore it was him. 

  
  


And then the lights died down. And changbin, for once, felt his heart racing in that excitement that everyone else had been feeling all night long. 

  
  


“Thanks you all for coming. I hope you enjoyed the show. Mingle if you like. We’ll be leaving tomorrow but we love to talk.” The ring leader laughed, crossing the stage with his cane. He seemed to really need it. One of his legs was a lot more unstable than the other. 

  
  


The show felt so fast. Even if it had been hours. Time just flew. 

  
  


——

  
  


“I can’t believe that clown signed my wing!” Felix squealed, holding the costume wings from his back in his hands, smile so wide across his face that his freckles squashed together, “that was so cool of her!”

  
  


“Sure.” Changbin shook his head, laughter bubbling in his throat, “You’re so precious, Felix.”

  
  


Felix snorted, nudging Changbins elbow playfully, “you’re just jealous you didn’t get a signature from that hot clown.”

  
  


“You know I’m not interested in—“

  
  


“That  _ particular  _ clown?” Felix wiggles his brows, “don’t think I didn’t see how you watched that guy at the end. You had bedroom eyes.”

  
  


“Felix shut up I did not!” Changbin laughed, hitting Felix in the arm as they walked passed the tents, “I didn’t.”

  
  


“He has you whipped. You were in a trance, Changbin,” Felix sighed, resting his head against Changbins shoulder, sharp tiara from Felix’s hair causing Changbin to wince. 

  
  


“Sure sure.”

  
  


“Thanks again, for everything.” Felix smiled, pulling up to smile again. He was so bubbly. So happy. 

  
  


“No problem, Lixie. I actually enjoyed it.” He lied. Sort of. He enjoyed the end. 

  
  


“Hey we should get—“ Felix paused, blinking rapidly as he looked over Changbin, “oh?”

  
  


“Oh what?” Changbin asked, attempting to turn his head only to get Felix’s hands at his cheeks, “Felix!?”

  
  


“Those two are...don’t look.”

  
  


“Who is what?” Changbin smacked Felix’s hands away. Oh. 

  
  


The outline was...obvious. Someone in that tent was getting fucked. And it looked like they were really enjoying it. 

  
  


“Ooh…” changbin laughed, brushing his fingers through his hair in embarrassment. 

  
  


“Yes. Ooh.” Felix stammered, sliding his costume wings back around his arms, huffing cutely as Changbin shot him a raised brow.  _ Interest _ . 

  
  


“Wanna see who?” Changbin wasn’t sure where the sudden curiosity came from. Maybe he just missed having sex. Missed watching. Him and Felix were strictly platonic friends. They didn’t fuck. He just...maybe he wanted to see which freaks were getting it handed to them. 

  
  


“That’s like...bad.” Felix laughed, blushing as an audible moan escaped the tent, “we shouldn't have even come this way—“

  
  


“The ringleader said we could talk to the staff,” changbin snickered, approaching the tent with causation, “just a quick peek.”

  
  


“Changbin…” Felix trudged begins reluctantly, arms crossed over the glitter at his chest, “this is an awful idea…”

  
  


Changbin shook his head,leaning down low to where there was a slight opening at the tent, “aren’t you curious?”

  
  


“To invade privacy? Not really.” Felix frowned, settling besides Changbin, eyes not even daring to peek. 

  
  


“You know I’m a voyeur.” Changbin rolled his eyes. If Felix got a good night, he wanted one too. 

  
  


“Shit…” Felix shook his head, keeping his eyes away from the tent. 

  
  


But Changbin? He couldn’t resist. And this was worth the risk. 

  
  


That super tall pretty man from the stage was gasping for air as the beast tamer had his hands full of the man’s hair, thrusting into him with such excitement that Changbin instantly fell into a trance. It wasn’t the clown that he’d watched at all, but this was interesting. 

  
  


“Changbin we should go.”

  
  


Changbin sighed, biting at his bottom lip as the tall man threw his head back in an audible moan, causing Felix to flush beside him. 

  
  


“I’m serious, Bin…”

  
  


“I think they’re almost done…if they wanted privacy they would have closed the tent.” Changbin laughed, keeping his voice extra low as he watched the beast tamer pull himself out of the taller male, cum spraying over his back so suddenly. 

  
  


“Changbin…”

  
  


“Shush, Felix.” Changbin hissed, turning to his friend. 

  
  


“Shush Felix.” Imitation. Changbin froze as the tent suddenly pulled open, causing both Changbin and Felix to fall back in surprise. 

  
  


Shit. 

  
  


“What, you suddenly not interested?” The tamer snickered, brushing fingers—what little he had, down his bare chest, “peeping toms?”

  
  


Changbin swallowed hard, parting his lips to speak before shuddering as the taller man stepped out. He was so many fucking heads taller than the beast tamer. 

  
  


“Minho, don’t be mean.” His voice was soft. Low and sweet, “they’re just watching. No harm.”

  
  


Minho shrugged, arms crossing as he scanned Felix and Changbin, “I suppose. But...ah, what have we here?” 

  
  


Changbin wanted to scream as Minhos foot pressed against his bulge, “turned on?”

  
  


The contortionist smirked, brushing sweaty hair from his face. Changbin wondered if the cum was still on his back. That probably wasn’t the thought he should be having right now. 

  
  


“We’re sorry. I—it’s my fault.” Felix stammered. 

  
  


No it wasn’t?

  
  


“Oh, your fault?” Minho smiled, licking his lips as he kneeled down, face so close to Felix’s, “nobody is at fault. It’s okay. We’re used to people prying at us /freaks/.”

  
  


Felix was shaking. 

  
  


“You’re not—we were just curious. It’s not his fault. He didn’t want to look.” Changbin corrected, Minho batting his lashes as the three fingers at his left hand brushed along Felix’s chin, “I swear.”

  
  


“Don’t be scared...we’re not going to hurt you.” The tall one started, getting a laugh from Minho. 

  
  


“No of course not. Only if you want us to…” Minho teased as he inches closer to the trembling fairy. 

  
  


“I—we,”

  
  


“Do you wanna come into our tent? We can help you with...your tent.” Minho whispered, brushing his fingers along Felix’s lap. 

  
  


Changbin was surprised that Felix was hard too. Like...maybe the fear had given him a fucking boner. 

  
  


“I don’t mind.” The tall one cooed, looking Changbin up and down, “they’re so tiny, Minho.”

  
  


“Especially that one,” Minho chimed, palm pressing against Felix’s crotch now, “how old are you two?”

  
  


“He’s nineteen.” Changbin whispered, the contortionist crouching down to his level, tilting his head with such a gentle smile. 

  
  


“Hyunjin is nineteen too.” Hyunjin must have been the tall guy, “how old are you?”

  
  


“Why does it matter?” Changbin didn't mean to hiss. It wasn’t like this wasn’t the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. And judging by how felix was biting his lip, he was enjoying it too. 

  
  


“Ah, you’re feisty.” Minho snickered, pulling himself off the ground, extending a hand to Felix, “seriously, if you guys want to...blow off some steam, our tent is cozy and warm.”

  
  


“Felix?” Changbin turned only to see Felix rising up, looking at Minho like he was the only human on earth, “I guess that’s a yes.”

  
  


Hyunjin lifted himself up next, hand extended to Changbin, “it would be our pleasure.”

  
  


——

  
  


Pleasure. Pleasure was such an understatement as Hyunjins lips trailed Changbins neck, hands at Changbins torso, covering nearly his entire chest. Hyunjin was just that fucking huge to him. It didn’t help that he was already small. 

  
  


As much as he loved the attention on his throat he couldn’t help but watch Felix in amazement. He had those stupid costume wings and his tiara at his head, pants pulled down slightly. Changbin had never seen Felix this way. Nor had he ever thought of doing anything like this. But this...was a wild ride. 

  
  


“Nice?” Changbin heard Minho ask, stroking Felix who was busy gasping and clinging to him, shuddering with each breath. 

  
  


Jesus Felix. 

  
  


The second Hyunjins hand was in his pants was when Changbin felt his heart race. His hands were so fucking big. He felt so small. 

  
  


“You’re so interested in him…” Hyunjin laughed, licking a stripe up his ear, only making Changbin melt against the table he was sitting on, “are you two dating?”

  
  


“No.” Changbin whispered, resting his head against the tent briefly, “just...best friends.”

  
  


“Best friends huh?” Hyunjin smirked, hand clasping around Changbins length. He’d be lying if he said the sensation wasn’t killing him. 

  
  


“I like watching…”

  
  


Hyunjin snickered at that, eyes focused on Changbins as he increased his pace below, “watching?”

  
  


Changbin gasped as the heat burned in his stomach, body tensing from the attention, “I’m a fucking voyeur.” He admitted, moving to wrap his hand around Hyunjins, “I love watching people get fucked.”

  
  


Hyunjins hand movement changed. It was a little weird. How his words changed Hyunjins attitude. Changbin could see the faint smirk appear on his lips. He wasn’t sure what that meant. 

  
  


Changbin tried to continue his focus on Hyunjin but the gasp from Felix’s end caused him to peer away again, his friends breaths heavy as Minho...he was fingering him right? Felix was gasping and moaning as he arched his back against Minho, whose hand was clearly in the back of Felix’s pants. 

  
  


Part of Changbin felt...weird. This was his best friend that he was witnessing this way. Jesus, Felix was witnessing the same thing as Hyunjin started to get Changbin off.

  
  


How far would this go? 

  
  


“Hey Hyunjin, I wanna see something.” Minho laughed, pulling up from the bed, Felix whining and grasping after him like a lost puppy, “Changbin come over here.”

  
  


Changbin forgot that he gave their names. 

  
  


“Okay.” Changbin shuddered, Hyunjin zipping his pants back up. 

  
  


“Come sit.” Minho coed, pulling Felix’s waistband up, the younger shielding his face from his friend as If was embarrassed. 

  
  


Honestly? Changbin was pretty embarrassed too. 

  
  


“Okay…” changbin whispered, eyes glued to minho who gave him a sly smirk, “why?”

  
  


“I want you to kiss him.”

  
  


Felix coughed, hands clasping over his face. Changbin could tell by the reddened ears that his friend was /that/ embarrassed. 

  
  


“Kiss?”

  
  


“Yeah, kiss.”

  
  


“I—“

  
  


Minho leaned over, lips pressed against Changbins. He didn’t expect the roughness. No wonder Felix was so turned on. Minhos hand was immediately at the back of his head, tugging on black strands of hair as his tongue invaded his mouth. 

  
  


Changbin felt pressure rising in his chest. He wanted to get off so bad. 

  
  


“Like that. Kiss him like that.” Minho smirked, getting up to pull Hyunjin by the arm, laying at the other side of the bed as the tall male stretched over Changbin, pulling himself into a position that was sure to break anyone else’s back. Changbin had nearly forgotten they were performers. And hyunjin was the main contortionist. 

  
  


“Go on.” Hyunjin whispered, pressing his lips to Minhos. They were...way too beautiful together. 

  
  


“Y-you don’t have to.” Felix stammered, pulling himself upright. His face was so red. His ears even redder. He looked so horny. Like, the kind of horny that needed to be fixed. He needed to cum. 

  
  


“Is it okay?” Changbin wasn’t sure why he worded it like that. Felix coughed, hand over his lips in shock, “can I?” 

  
  


“I—“ Felix just moved first, lips locking with Changbins. He had never kissed Felix. Ever. This was new. Wild. Something he never expected. 

  
  


“Look at them go.” Minho laughed, hissing in delight. Hyunjin must have been touching him, too. 

  
  


Changbin pulled Felix back a moment, gazing over his friends glossy expression, watching as the lust filled his eyes. 

  
  


And then he shoved Felix down, rolling his hips against Felix’s swollen dick as he slipped his tongue into his mouth. Felix sighed pleasantly, grinding his hips up into changbin’s, soft moans leaving with each breath of air. 

  
  


Felix tasted really good. Changbin has tasted a few people in his lifetime. Some good, some awful. Felix was a good in between. That taste of platonic friendship still lingered, even if Felix was digging his hand down Changbins pants. 

  
  


“Oh hey channie!” Hyunjin exclaimed, causing Changbin to pull off of Felix’s lips quickly, rolling over nearly into Minho who was pulling himself up. 

  
  


Channie?

  
  


Changbin turned. 

  
  


Oh. 

  
  


The clown. 

  
  


Changbins eyes widened at the expression the clown held, pretty lines of makeup under his eyes complimenting his ridiculous, yet elegant costume. 

  
  


“You came to join?” Minho teased, bouncing close to the clown, who in reply pulled a face of disgust. 

  
  


“Not funny, Minho.” Hyunjin growled back, pulling himself up to stand at the other side of him. 

  
  


Changbin suddenly felt...overwhelmed. He buckled his pants, Felix seemed too anxious to say anything. 

  
  


“You’re early, Chan. Look what we found, couple of peeping toms.” Minho joked, eyeing Changbin with daggers. 

  
  


_ Fuck.  _

  
  


Changbins heart was racing. 

  
  


“Yeah it was easy. Figured someone would come by but...these two. Very interesting. They’re just /friends/ by the way. Ah but...we have a little voyeur. Changbin here...likes watching people get fucked.” Hyunjins words sounded like venom. Every word seemed to bother the clown, obvious trembles as bell jingles rang in Changbins ears. 

  
  


The clown—chan just turned, Bell at his costume jingling as he shook his head, eyes settling on Changbins. He looked pissed. For some reason that must have pissed him off. A lot. 

  
  


“Are they good?”

  
  


The man nodded, brown curls bouncing with each movement. 

  
  


“Good for what?” Felix whispered, pulling himself upright, blouse back over his head, “what is this?”

  
  


“You were having fun moments ago, we’re just gonna have some more.” Minho smirked, nudging Chan who returned an annoyed look. 

  
  


He wouldn’t speak. 

  
  


“I’m...we should go.” Felix took Changbins arm, making his way towards the exit. 

  
  


But of fucking course, Hyunjin blocked it, standing tall in front of them with a small smirk of his own. 

  
  


“Okay, seriously. This isn’t funny.”

  
  


“What? We were just having a nice time. Why are you so scared?” Hyunjin tilted his head. 

  
  


“I don’t know what you guys are talking about, but I don’t like it. I want to leave.” Felix stammered. 

  
  


“Felix...it’s not a big deal. Calm down.” Changbin whispered, Felix turning with a panicked expression plastered over his face. It was a big deal. But Felix panicking wasn’t helping anything. 

  
  


“Not a big deal. Listen to your friend, Felix.” Minho whispered, laughing as the clown approached them. 

  
  


Honestly, Changbins blood was boiling. Suddenly the overwhelming feeling was getting too much. 

  
  


Especially when Chan grabbed Changbin by the hair, tugging him away from Felix and plunging...something sharp into his neck. Changbin assumed it was…a needle. Panic didn’t even have time to overcome him as he fell backwards into the man, eyes barely catching as Felix screamed. Changbin just watched as his vision blurred, the clown filling his view. Consuming him. 

  
  


—— 

  
  


Changbins head was fuzzy. He woke up to an immense pain in his chest. He felt overwhelmed again. And his head hurt so fucking bad. He couldn’t move much at all. And did he mention how fucking horrible his head was pounding? 

  
  


Changbin shuddered as a sole spotlight hit his vision, causing him to struggle to open his eye. He saw the ground. But not in the right way. The ground was floating. 

  
  


No he was floating. 

  
  


A scream and whipping sound rang throughout Changbins ears. Suddenly he just wanted to leave. Changbin shivered as he turned, the sight of his blonde friend hanging not too far, hands bound behind his back. Changbin was thankful they had their clothes. But the relief was short-lived as another scream hit his eardrums. 

  
  


Felix was so bloody. His blouse was torn in tons of places, cuts covering his torso and...some at his face. The culprit? Minhos whip from the show. The one he hadn’t used the entire time. 

  
  


Changbin guessed they did this often. It wasn’t funny. 

  
  


“What the fuck are you…” Changbins head hurt so bad. He was shaking as he watched Felix struggle to look at him, blood trickling from the younger man’s lips. He looked awful. 

  
  


“Morning sunshine~” 

  
  


Minhos whip stung. It stung so badly as it slapped across his back, causing Changbin to cry out and whimper in agony. Luckily he’d been struck at the back. Judging by Felix’s state and marks on his chest, he hadn’t been so lucky. 

  
  


Hyunjin was crawling on his hands, feet over his head as knife rest between his toes. His fucking toes. It was fucking nightmare fuel. This was a nightmare. This wasn’t okay. 

  
  


“Please…” Felix could barely speak. He sounded so stressed. Changbin wondered just how long he had been awake. 

  
  


“Please what? Let you run off?” Minho cooed, whipping Felix hard at the chest. That wasn’t good. Felix’s breath was so shallow. They were going to fucking kill him at this rate. 

  
  


“Stop!” Changbin struggled, trying to rip his hands from the tightrope around his back and arms, “you’re gonna kill him!”

  
  


“Shut the fuck up,” Minho growled, the whip spinning around to slice against Changbins arms. Slice. Yes, he was fucking bleeding now. And gritting his teeth, eye focused on Felix. 

  
  


“You guys think you can spy on us and get away with it huh?” 

  
  


“It was my fault! He didn’t look!” Changbin screamed back. What the hell? So they were suddenly not cool with the voyeurism? Suddenly all that making out and dick touching was nothing? A game? 

  
  


“Sucks, you were both there.” Hyunjin chimed, the blade in his feet meticulously slicing across Felix’s chest. 

  
  


Why were they torturing him? Felix hadn’t done anything. They had practically ignored Changbin. Was it because Felix woke up first? 

  
  


“Please let him go...he didn’t do anything wrong.” Changbin pleaded, struggling with the knots behind him as he swung slightly. 

  
  


“What did I say, changbin?” Minho cackled. Yes, fucking cackled, before flinging his fucking whip so hard against Changbins hands that he couldn’t conceal his scream. It hurt so fucking bad he was holding his tears back. He couldn’t even move his fingers. He could feel the blood trickling down his fucking back. He hit him that hard. 

  
  


This was madness. But fear filled Changbins heart as Hyunjin dug the knife deeper along Felix’s stomach, his friends blood washing away the glitter from earlier. 

  
  


Changbin was going to be sick. 

  
  


“Please st—.” He couldn’t even continue. One look from Minho and he was cowering in himself, shaking violently as the man raised his whip in just the smallest fashion. 

  
  


He felt so weak. Pathetic. He wanted to help Felix. He had to. He had to help him. 

  
  


“Channie!” Minho exclaimed, eyes fixating behind changbin. 

  
  


And to Changbins horror he could feel fingers dancing along his stomach that was only exposed from the position he was in. And misery filling every tingle of his body as the fingers reached his throat. He wanted to scream. But he was so scared that if he did that, shit. He was so scared Felix would get hurt more because of him. 

  
  


Changbin didn’t even want to look up at the man. The trapeze artist. The scariest thing was his lack of speech. That dead stare. Like he was a doll. Changbin hated that he wanted to look. Hated that he wanted to see Chan’s face up close. It was agony. 

  
  


“Oh gross.” Minho growled, the sound of the man bouncing back causing Changbin to whip his head to the three. 

  
  


“Felix…” changbin whimpered, the blonde shivering as blood trickled down his cheeks. They were cutting so fucking deep. Why were they cutting that deep? They were going to kill them. They were going to die. They were. Oh god. 

  
  


“He pissed himself.” Minho announced, crouching down to slap at Felix’s face.

  
  


At this point he was just murmuring softly to himself, eyes shut tight. He was going to lose it. If he hadn’t already. Felix was going to die. He was—

  
  


Suddenly hands grabbed his face. Changbins eye widened as the clown from earlier was facing him, bouncing curls hanging and bells jingling as he waved Changbins face around like it was a toy, sly grin appearing at his face. 

  
  


Changbin felt horrible. Those man’s eyes...they just looked through him. Deep through him. And part of Changbin...liked it? The blank stare. 

  
  


“Time?” Minho snickered off to the side, a guttural whine escaping from the other boy who was suspended upside down. 

  
  


Chan was upside down too, he was hanging from ropes above, holding Changbins cheeks in both hands, watching so closely. 

  
  


“Oh fuck, look at them go!” Minho cackled again, laugh breaking the trance Changbin was in. 

  
  


And he suddenly wanted to vomit. As he turned his head...he just wanted to wake up. This wasn’t real. He wasn’t actually seeing Felix’s intestines hitting the fucking ground. He wasn’t seeing his friend shake violently, eyes still shut tight. He wasn’t seeing that. He wasn’t seeing Hyunjin laugh as Minho dug his digits into Felix’s stomach...he wasn’t seeing him pull Felix’s guts out. No no no. He wasn’t seeing that. 

“You still like watching, Changbin?” Hyunjins words were echos. And Changbin just wanted to —

Chan grabbed Changbins face again, and his stomach lurched. But only for a moment. Once his eyes were back on Chan’s he couldn’t help but stare in awe. For some reason he was hypnotized. In such a trance that...the sound of Felix gurgling on his own blood and the squelching sound as the two performers dug in his friends stomach...disappeared. 

  
  


He suddenly heard only silence, followed by the slight jingle of bells decorating Chan’s costume. He felt so still. So at peace. Just momentarily at peace. He just stared in awe. Mouth gaped slightly. Chan was so beautiful. His hair was so curly and bouncy and brown. And his face was so still, eye makeup slightly messy from what Changbin assumes was stress…

  
  


“Voyeur.” Laughter. 

  
  


And then he felt the worst pain he’d ever felt. But it wasn’t. He couldn’t react. He just gasped, shaking as the sharpness hit his stomach. He felt so...suddenly so weak. So destroyed and so—Chan was so beautiful. He was so nice to look at. Even with a knife plunged into Changbins stomach, upwards and would probably kill him, he could only focus on Chan. 

  
  


The clowns eyes widened. The first sign of emotion. Chan tilted his head, bringing a hand to Changbins cheek. It was cool, yet delicate and soft at the same time. It was welcoming as fingers ran underneath of Changbins eye...the eyepatch covered eye. 

  
  


Changbins eyes were fluttering. 

  
  


“Are we done yet?”

  
  


The ringleader?

  
  


“Hurry up Chan, this ones done. Finish the little voyeur, we’re done / _ fucking _ / his friend! I think he enjoyed watching, don’t you?” Minho cackled, that whip coming into Changbins vision. Hyunjin appeared too, standing on the other side of Chan. 

“Chan need help?” The ringleader, Woobin, asked. His voice was so weird. So muffled. More muffled up close than at the show. And his mask...he wasn’t wearing it. And his face was...burned?

  
  


“Chan? Here let me—“

  
  


Changbin shuddered, eye shaking as a tear trickled down his face. His head was racing. Suddenly he didn’t want to feel anything. Chan. Just Chan. Chan. Chan. 

  
  


Chan held a hand out, the other releasing the knife that had plunged into Changbins stomach, hand at his cheek again. And then underneath the little black patch. 

  
  


It was an odd feeling. Fingers over his eye. Over the long scar where his eye used to be. The long jagged stitched up wound from his childhood. The long ugly scar that sealed his eye shut. The eye he hid. The eye that made sense to hide with an eye patch. The eye that wasn’t even there. The eye that made him a freak—

  
  


“Oh fuck, he’s a real life pirate!” Minho laughed, leaning down, face close to Chan’s as he watched Changbin closely. 

  
  


Changbin shivered, eye leaking tears as he stared at Chan. He wasn’t sure what he felt as Chan’s fingertips ran across the scar where his eye used to be. 

  
  


He was losing grasp. His body ached. He could feel blood finally start to trickle down the side of his face. Slowly dripping to the floor. He felt so sick. But he couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Chan. Chan was just staring at him in absolute adoration. Changbins head was spinning. 

  
  


“Chan?”

  
  


The clown looked away quickly before settling his eyes on Changbin, hand moving back to caress his face as the other continued to graze along his eye. 

  
  


“You wanna keep him, Chan?”

  
  


Changbin couldn’t even process that. He only found it absolutely enthralling to see the clowns expression finally alter. A gleam of light in his eyes as he nodded, bells jingling as silent laughter left the man’s lips. Silent. No sound. But he was laughing. He looked overjoyed. Like a child had just won a prize. 

  
  


Changbin never wanted to go to the circus. 

  
  


Changbin just wanted to go home—no. He didn’t want to go home. He wanted to stay with Chan. Suddenly everything was cloudy. 

  
  


As the clown continued to laugh and pet Changbins face he couldn’t help but lose focus, eye fluttering shut. So slowly that it hurt. So slow that just the slightest darkness from Chan stung. He just wanted to see him. Wanted to look at him forever. 

  
  


——

  
  


“Chan, what’s that?” Woobin asked, crouching down to the man who was ambitiously sketching in his notebook, eyes darting around the paper in glee. 

  
  


Changbin. A drawing in perfect detail of Changbin settled in the crowd, everyone else, including Felix, nothing but blobs. Changbin though? He was in perfect detail. He sat there, bored. Eyepatch off his eye to reveal that scar that Chan had written about for the last few days. 

  
  


In big black letters the word ‘pet’ settled right underneath of Changbin, arrow pointing upwards to the man settled. 

  
  


“Ah. Pet. I see.” Woobin grinned, patting Chan’s hair affectionately, “we’ll see.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope whoever reads enjoys this gory mess 💛✨ happy birthday Celia I promise I’ll write more clown Chan for you 💛✨I hope you like it 💛✨
> 
> A L S O 
> 
> I don’t know why on earth I have to do this but please do not reupload my work under any circumstances. If you’d like to for any reason please message me first, do not reupload my work. If you see my works on wattpad please report them, I will never grant permission for wattpad.  
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